A lot of people don’t like online dating but I have never minded it. I like dating and I like the process of dating. But online dating can be a strange world to navigate, especially if you have been in a long term relationship or a marriage for awhile and you haven’t had to really do much dating. You have to make sure it’s safe too. Here are five of the most useful things I’ve learned from more than 5 years of online dating:
This is probably the most important thing I’ve learned when it comes to online dating. One of you could be insecure about how your look or one of you could be insecure about meeting for some other reason but ultimately you need to meet and get it over with. If you are attracted to each other and you meet then you can start a relationship. And if you meet and you’re not attracted to each other you can move on. But you need to meet and find out in person if there’s any chemistry. Don’t put it off.
Did you use older photos in your dating profile? You’re not the only one. After meeting up with many people that I met on dating sites I can confidently say that almost no one looks like they do in their profile photos. Almost everyone looks more attractive in their online photos than they actually are. But since photos online can’t convey charm or wit and the only thing you have to go on is how that person looks it makes sense that people would use photos that are edited and filtered to look great. When you meet a date in real life for the first time don’t be shocked if they don’t look like their online photos. They probably won’t.
In dating profiles people often put long lists of interests and hobbies in order to sound clever and active and interesting when really they spend every night on the couch with Netflix and burritos. And there is nothing wrong with Netflix and burritos. But make sure that you have realistic expectations about how intellectual and interesting the person that you’re meeting actually is. Remember that they probably fudged a little on their profile to send more interesting than they really are. We all do it.
The first time you meet someone from a dating app always have backup. Have a fully charged cell phone. Have money or a credit card. And have a friend or three waiting for your call so that they will know you are safe. Call, don’t text, because the date could get the phone away from you and text that you’re ok even if you’re not. Be ready for anything. And make sure you do a sex offender search first, just to be safe.
Even though I just told you to be ready for anything you can never truly prepare for the craziness. The most bizarre, hilarious, and strange things will happen when you start meeting online dates in real life. And that’s part of the fun!